Jumat, 25 Januari 2013

[O537.Ebook] Ebook Free Dueling; The Cult of Honor in Fin-de-Siecle Germany, by Kevin McAleer

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Dueling; The Cult of Honor in Fin-de-Siecle Germany, by Kevin McAleer


The question of what it takes "to be a man" comes under scrutiny in this sharp, often playful, cultural critique of the German duel--the deadliest type of one-on-one combat in fin-de-siécle Europe. At a time when dueling was generally restricted to swords or had been abolished altogether in other nations, the custom of fighting to the death with pistols flourished among Germany's upper-class males, who took perverse comfort in defying their country's weakly enforced laws. From initial provocation to final death agony, Kevin McAleer describes with ironic humor the complex protocol of the German duel, inviting his reader into the disturbing mindset of its practitioners and the society that valued this socially important but ultimately absurd pastime. Through a narrative that cannot restrain itself from poking fun at the egos and prejudices that come to the fore in the pursuit of "manliness," McAleer offers both an entertaining and thought-provoking portrait of a cultural phenomenon that had far-reaching effects.


The author employs a wealth of anecdotes to re-create the dueling event in all its variety, from the level of insult--which could range from loudly ridiculing a man's choice of entrée in an upscale restaurant to, more commonly, bedding his wife--to such intricacies as the time and place of the duel, the guest list, the selection of weapons and number of paces, dress options, and the decision regarding when to let the attending physician set up his instruments on the field. As he exposes the reader to the fierce mentality behind these proceedings, McAleer describes the duel as a litmus test of courage, the masculine apotheosis, which led its male practitioners to lay claim to both psychic and legal entitlements in Wilhelmine society. The aristocratic nature of the duel, with its feudal ethos of chivalry, gave its upper-middle-class practitioners even more opportunity to distinguish themselves from the underclasses and other marginalized groups--such as Socialists, Jews, left-liberals, Catholics, and pacifists, who, for various reasons, were stigmatized as incapable of "giving satisfaction." The duel, according to McAleer, was thus a social mirror, and the dueling issue political dynamite.


Throughout these accounts, the author sustains a personal voice to convey the horror and fascination of what at first appears to be simply a curious fringe activity, but which he goes on to reveal as an integral element of German society's consciousness in the late nineteenth century. In so doing, he strengthens the argument that Germany followed a path of development separate from the rest of Europe, leading to World War I and ultimately to Hitler and the Nazis.


Originally published in 1994.


The Princeton Legacy Library uses the latest print-on-demand technology to again make available previously out-of-print books from the distinguished backlist of Princeton University Press. These paperback editions preserve the original texts of these important books while presenting them in durable paperback editions. The goal of the Princeton Legacy Library is to vastly increase access to the rich scholarly heritage found in the thousands of books published by Princeton University Press since its founding in 1905.


  • Sales Rank: #2532391 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Princeton University Press
  • Published on: 1994-10-03
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.75" h x 6.50" w x 1.00" l,
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 288 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

From Library Journal
According to McAleer (history, Free Univ., Berlin), the ritual violence of a culture defines that culture. Here he argues that dueling in Wilhelmine Germany, although only practiced by an aristocratic minority, helped shape German attitudes toward honor, manhood, women, and other countries. McAleer gives a fascinating glimpse into a deadly icon of the German popular imagination during the Kaiserreich. Whether or not one was of sufficient rank to be able to give satisfaction in a duel of honor defined one's status. McAleer has a strong sardonic sense of humor that seems out of place in a scholarly book, and his conclusion that the duel was symptomatic of Germany's Sonderweg, or peculiar path, which led to the Nazis, is at best questionable. Nevertheless, this is an accurate look at a misunderstood topic in German culture with few comparable books in English. Recommended for academic libraries with a strong German studies collections.
Randall L. Schroeder, Augustana Coll., Rock Island, Ill.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
"[The book] contains excellent material on the mechanics of the duel, and penetrating passages on every subject it deals with. McAleer is often clever and always spirited."--David Blackbourn, London Review of Books



"[A] well-researched and entertainingly written study."--Richard J. Evans, The Times Literary Supplement



"[An] engaging and valuable monograph. . . . [McAleer] has presented his account with verve, wit, and a rich and colorful vocabulary. . . . This book deserves an established place in the bibliography on modern German society."--Vernon L. Ludtke, American Historical Review



"A positively captivating look at turn-of-the-century Germany. . . . "--D. R. Dorondo, The Historian



"[McAleer] argues that dueling in Wilhelmine Germany, although only practiced by an aristocratic minority, helped shape German attitudes toward honor, women, and other countries. . . . a fascinating glimpse into a deadly icon of the German popular imagination."--Library Journal



"Between 1871, when the Franco-Prussian war ended, and 1914, when the first world war began . . . German officers kept boredom at bay by killing each other in pistol duels. . . . Kevin McAleer's book is extraordinarily comprehensive, taking the astonished reader through the dueling ritual from first provocation to final death agony."--The Economist



"Kevin McAleer has dispelled any romanticism surrounding the nineteenth-century German duel. . . . [He] wholeheartedly enters into the fascinating intricacies of dueling. . . . [and] keeps his moral indignation at bay, with a tone of ironic humor throughout."--Alexander Rose, Literary Review



"[This] portrait of Germany's dueling classes is vivid and appalling. It fully illustrates the book's wonderful epigraph, taken from W. Somerset Maugham: "Man has always found it easier to sacrifice his life than to learn the multiplication table."--Lee Lescaze, Wall Street Journal



"Kevin Mcaleer has spent five years researching the fin-de-siecle German duel. . . . The results . . . are contained in this intriguing book. One is left staggered at the triviality of the causes for which men were willing to risk death. . . . and at the pretentiousness of the pseudo-chivalrous etiquette of the German duel."--Sunday Telegraph (London)


". . . [a] lively, opinionated account of dueling in Germany. McAleer is thorough about the weapons, the customs, even the proper dress for dueling, and he's properly sardonic about the adolescent code of honor that perpetuated it."--Men's Journal



". . . the book has many virtues. It contains excellent material on the mechanics of the duel, and penetrating passages on every subject it deals with. McAleer is often clever and always spirited."--London Review of Books



"[An] unusually lively, informative, and provocative description and interpretation of the duel in recent Germany's cultural, social, and legal history. . . . McAleer concludes persuasively that Germany's dueling tradition . . . leads inexorably to Nazism, a finding that ensures controversy. Based on archival and rare published materials and belles lettres, with illustrations and bibliography, this is a refreshingly unconventional, suggestive, and strongly recommended study."--Choice



"A positively captivating look at turn-of-the-century Germany.... The phenomenon of the affair of honor must, as it now appears in light of McAleer's efforts, be considered if one is to understand more completely the critical role of Germany's post-1890 internal evolution or that country's place in modern Europe."--D. R. Dorondo, The Historian

From the Back Cover

"In one fascinating chapter after another, the author demonstrates that dueling and its ideological foundation, the chivalrous code of ethics, were both a feudal and a modern phenomenon. . . . [S]imultaneously learned, informative, and most amusing."--Istvan Deak, Columbia University


"McAleer impels us, with a unique and personal voice, to reconsider the basic nature of late nineteenth-century German society."--Jonathan Sperber, University of Missouri, Columbia


Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
This book covers the subject
By alex critchfield
In addition to the dueling aspect which is the subject of this book, it provides an interesting look into the lifestyle of end of the century europe. A few sections come off a bit dry and must be pushed through but that is to be expected in any informative work. One thing I was slightly disappointed with is a lack of a section detailing actual duels the author researched. Weaponry, style, result, and the pretext which started conflict would make for a nice appendix. I would recommend this book to people who wish to look at history from a different perspective instead of just wars and revolutions.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Wonderful!!!!!
By P. M. Payes
Quite a lot of insight into the world of German dueling....Dr. Evil has a mansuer scar....shouldn't you?

Seriously....GREAT read!!!!!!!!!!!!

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Susan Sausser
All as expected

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[Z315.Ebook] Get Free Ebook My Story, by Steven Gerrard

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My Story, by Steven Gerrard

Steven Gerrard - legendary captain of Liverpool and England - tells the story of the highs and lows of a twenty-year career at the top of English and world football.

As the only player ever to have scored in a FA cup final, a league cup final, a UEFA cup final and a champion's league final, Steven Gerrard is an inspiration to fans and footballers alike. After joining his beloved Liverpool at the age of eight, he spent the next 28 years, and over 700 games, devoted to this one club. Perhaps the last player of his calibre that we will see display such extraordinary longevity and commitment, his loyalty ensures he will be remembered not only as one of the all-time Anfield greats but one of England's finest footballers.

In My Story Gerrard dissects his full playing career. He examines the defining games such as the 2005 Champion's League Final when he inspired 'The Miracle of Istanbul' as Liverpool came back from 3-0 down against AC Milan to become champions of Europe. He talks about his 114 caps for England, including World Cup and European Championship campaigns, asking what went right - and wrong.

In My Story Gerrard dissects his full playing career. He examines the defining games such as the 2005 Champion's League Final when he inspired 'The Miracle of Istanbul' as Liverpool came back from 3-0 down against AC Milan to become champions of Europe. He talks about his 114 caps for England, including World Cup and European Championship campaigns, asking what went right - and wrong.

He writes candidly of those he's played with and competed against, from Luis Suárez to Jose Mourinho, his experiences under Brendan Rodgers and Roy Hodgson. He also has an incredible and rare personal story, telling us of the extraordinary ups and downs of staying loyal to one club for your entire career.

Explosive and searingly honest, Steven Gerrard's My Story is the last word from an era-defining player.

  • Sales Rank: #216991 in eBooks
  • Published on: 2015-09-24
  • Released on: 2015-09-24
  • Format: Kindle eBook

About the Author
Steven Gerrard, MBE, has won several awards including the mostnvaluable player in the Champions League in 2004-05 and PFA player of the year in 2006, ahead of Frank Lampard and Thierry Henry. 2005 saw Gerrard win the Ballon d'Or (European Footballer of the Year) Bronze Award and in December 2006 he became a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) in recognition of his services to the game.

Most helpful customer reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Five stars for the player and the subject matter. Three and a bit for the ghost writer.
By David
Five stars for the player and the subject matter. Three and a bit for the ghost writer, who is apparently an Arsenal supporter.

There are a couple of inexplicable errors. For example, in the section on the World Cup Group, Costa Rica is described as a “tiny island.” Of course, it’s not an island at all. It’s located on the Central American isthmus, between Nicaragua and Panama, as one look at Google Maps could have told the author.

Certain sections describing famous passages of play read as though the author has simply watched the clips on Youtube and attempted to describe them. He even includes sections of the television commentary. Even then, there are odd ambiguities. For example, in describing Gerrard’s famous goal against Olympiakos there is the following passage: “it was about to bounce again when, running at speed, I hit it on the half volley.” Isn’t a half volley hit right after the bounce when the ball is rising, as in tennis or cricket? Is this described as a half volley because the ball had already bounced, even though the ball was apparently coming down and thus was hit like a volley? Admittedly, this is a pedantic criticism, although Gerrard’s famous second goal in the 2006 FA Cup Final when the ball bounced twice is simply described as “I caught it on the rise.” Perhaps this goal then might have better been described as a true half volley in all senses of the term? It was certainly one of the greatest goals in history, but after watching it, it’s unclear to me whether it was, in fact, struck “on the rise.”

More importantly, I found the tone to be slightly ill-judged. Perhaps I'm old fashioned, but I don’t see the need to include profanity, especially when many kids will likely read the book. It’s been while since I read the 2007 book, but my recollection of the difference can be summed up in contrasting anecdotes. The story in the earlier book about the garden fork and Gerrard’s toe was genuinely dramatic. The story in this book about Gerrard getting cut in a sensitive area away at Bournemouth and the playing the derby game with four stitches was overdone.

It must have been a little tricky ghost writing a Gerrard autobiography when the previous version came out in 2007, after what he identifies as the two main peaks of his career had already passed: Istanbul 2005, and Cardiff 2006. Nevertheless, I think a better version could have been written. There are bits of the previous autobiography reheated, such as the passage about Basel 2002, Gerard Houllier, and his parents’ divorce. However, I suppose including this in order to compare and contrast with Basel 2014 is fine. There are also strange omissions. For example, there is nothing about Gerrard's second half hat trick as a substitute against Napoli in the Europa League in November 2010.

There are also some good chapters. The section on injuries and surgeries is painful to read, not because of the writing, but because the gruesome detail. The section about Steve Peters, the sports psychiatrist, the theory of the inner chimp, and Gerrard’s thirty-eight seconds of crazy genius and madness in his last game against Manchester United, is also an entertaining read. It was interesting to read about him heading to Monaco with his wife right after the slip against Chelsea during the tilt at the title, and to Dubai with the players after the extended retirement celebrations, and the calamity at Stoke. For me, the slip and the flight to Monaco only served to make a hero more human. I don’t blame Gerrard one iota for taking his family to Los Angeles to have a break from all the attention and pressure he has to put up with on Merseyside, and the abuse he gets from jealous rival fans.

The book ends with a line that Gerrard’s dad often said to him when he was a child: “This is where it starts. Everything you’ve done before this has gone.” As Gerrard’s career continues in Los Angeles, and as he completes his coaching qualifications, I am sure there will be very many more entertaining chapters ahead.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
LOVED this as a gift
By Amazon Customer
Boyfriend is a huge Liverpool/Gerrard fan. LOVED this as a gift. He seems to really enjoy it so far :)

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
LFC from the great one's perspective.
By Richard Quinn
I'm a big fan of Stevie and the book is pretty good for the genre. YNWA.

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Minggu, 06 Januari 2013

[F354.Ebook] Download Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, by Atul Gawande

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Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, by Atul Gawande

In Being Mortal, bestselling author Atul Gawande tackles the hardest challenge of his profession: how medicine can not only improve life but also the process of its ending
Medicine has triumphed in modern times, transforming birth, injury, and infectious disease from harrowing to manageable. But in the inevitable condition of aging and death, the goals of medicine seem too frequently to run counter to the interest of the human spirit. Nursing homes, preoccupied with safety, pin patients into railed beds and wheelchairs. Hospitals isolate the dying, checking for vital signs long after the goals of cure have become moot. Doctors, committed to extending life, continue to carry out devastating procedures that in the end extend suffering.

Gawande, a practicing surgeon, addresses his profession's ultimate limitation, arguing that quality of life is the desired goal for patients and families. Gawande offers examples of freer, more socially fulfilling models for assisting the infirm and dependent elderly, and he explores the varieties of hospice care to demonstrate that a person's last weeks or months may be rich and dignified.

Full of eye-opening research and riveting storytelling, Being Mortal asserts that medicine can comfort and enhance our experience even to the end, providing not only a good life but also a good end.

  • Sales Rank: #44783 in Books
  • Published on: 2014-10-07
  • Released on: 2014-10-07
  • Formats: Audiobook, CD, Unabridged
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 7
  • Dimensions: 6.00" h x .87" w x 5.18" l,
  • Running time: 32400 seconds
  • Binding: Audio CD
  • 7 pages

Amazon.com Review

An Amazon Best Book of the Month, October 2014: True or false: Modern medicine is a miracle that has transformed all of our lives.

If you said “true,” you’d be right, of course, but that’s a statement that demands an asterisk, a “but.” “We’ve been wrong about what our job is in medicine,” writes Atul Gawande, a surgeon (at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston) and a writer (at the New Yorker). “We think. . .[it] is to ensure health and survival. But really. . .it is to enable well-being. And well-being is about the reasons one wishes to be alive.” Through interviews with doctors, stories from and about health care providers (such as the woman who pioneered the notion of “assisted living” for the elderly)—and eventually, by way of the story of his own father’s dying, Gawande examines the cracks in the system of health care to the aged (i.e. 97 percent of medical students take no course in geriatrics) and to the seriously ill who might have different needs and expectations than the ones family members predict. (One striking example: the terminally ill former professor who told his daughter that “quality of life” for him meant the ongoing ability to enjoy chocolate ice cream and watch football on TV. If medical treatments might remove those pleasures, well, then, he wasn’t sure he would submit to such treatments.) Doctors don’t listen, Gawande suggests—or, more accurately, they don’t know what to listen for. (Gawande includes examples of his own failings in this area.) Besides, they’ve been trained to want to find cures, attack problems—to win. But victory doesn’t look the same to everyone, he asserts. Yes, “death is the enemy,” he writes. “But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And in a war that you cannot win, you don’t want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don’t want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee... someone who knows how to fight for territory that can be won and how to surrender it when it can’t.” In his compassionate, learned way, Gawande shows all of us—doctors included—how mortality must be faced, with both heart and mind. – Sara Nelson

Review

“Being Mortal, Atul Gawande's masterful exploration of aging, death, and the medical profession's mishandling of both, is his best and most personal book yet.” ―Boston Globe

“American medicine, Being Mortal reminds us, has prepared itself for life but not for death. This is Atul Gawande's most powerful--and moving--book.” ―Malcolm Gladwell

“Beautifully crafted . . . Being Mortal is a clear-eyed, informative exploration of what growing old means in the 21st century . . . a book I cannot recommend highly enough. This should be mandatory reading for every American. . . . it provides a useful roadmap of what we can and should be doing to make the last years of life meaningful.” ―Time.com

“Masterful . . . Essential . . . For more than a decade, Atul Gawande has explored the fault lines of medicine . . . combining his years of experience as a surgeon with his gift for fluid, seemingly effortless storytelling . . . In Being Mortal, he turns his attention to his most important subject yet.” ―Chicago Tribune

“Beautifully written . . . In his newest and best book, Gawande . . . has provided us with a moving and clear-eyed look at aging and death in our society, and at the harms we do in turning it into a medical problem, rather than a human one.” ―The New York Review of Books

“Powerful.” ―New York Magazine

“Atul Gawande's wise and courageous book raises the questions that none of us wants to think about . . . Remarkable.” ―John Carey, The Sunday Times (UK)

“A deeply affecting, urgently important book--one not just about dying and the limits of medicine but about living to the last with autonomy, dignity, and joy.” ―Katherine Boo

“Dr. Gawande's book is not of the kind that some doctors write, reminding us how grim the fact of death can be. Rather, he shows how patients in the terminal phase of their illness can maintain important qualities of life.” ―Wall Street Journal (Best Books of 2014)

“Being Mortal left me tearful, angry, and unable to stop talking about it for a week. . . . A surgeon himself, Gawande is eloquent about the inadequacy of medical school in preparing doctors to confront the subject of death with their patients. . . . it is rare to read a book that sparks with so much hard thinking.” ―Nature

“We have come to medicalize aging, frailty, and death, treating them as if they were just one more clinical problem to overcome. However it is not only medicine that is needed in one's declining years but life--a life with meaning, a life as rich and full as possible under the circumstances. Being Mortal is not only wise and deeply moving, it is an essential and insightful book for our times, as one would expect from Atul Gawande, one of our finest physician writers.” ―Oliver Sacks

“Gawande's book is so impressive that one can believe that it may well [change the medical profession] . . . May it be widely read and inwardly digested.” ―Diana Athill, Financial Times (UK)

“Eloquent, moving.” ―The Economist (Best Books of 2014)

“A great read that leaves you better equipped to face the future, and without making you feel like you just took your medicine.” ―Mother Jones (Best Books of 2014)

“Beautiful.” ―New Republic

“Gawande displays the precision of his surgical craft and the compassion of a humanist . . . in a narrative that often attains the force and beauty of a novel . . . Only a precious few books have the power to open our eyes while they move us to tears. Atul Gawande has produced such a work. One hopes it is the spark that ignites some revolutionary changes in a field of medicine that ultimately touches each of us.” ―Shelf Awareness (Best Books of 2014)

“A needed call to action, a cautionary tale of what can go wrong, and often does, when a society fails to engage in a sustained discussion about aging and dying.” ―San Francisco Chronicle

About the Author

Atul Gawande is the author of The Checklist Manifesto, Better, and Complications. He is also a MacArthur Fellow, a general surgeon at Brigham and Women's Hospital, a staff writer at The New Yorker, and an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard School of Public Health. He lives with his wife and three children in Newton, Massachusetts.

Robert Petkoff has won multiple AudioFile Earphones awards for his acclaimed narrations. He was named Best Voice of Fiction & Classics for his reading of The Evolution of Bruno Littlemore by Benjamin Hale. His other narration credits include Oath of Office by Michael Palmer, Gangster Squad by Paul Lieberman, and books by David Foster Wallace.

Most helpful customer reviews

895 of 932 people found the following review helpful.
This book could be a game changer
By N. B. Kennedy
This book could be a game changer, if enough people read it and take it to heart. Atul Gawande addresses end-of-life care, and how we're getting it wrong, both within the medical establishment and in our families.

Dr. Gawande's book focuses both on medical procedures and living conditions in later life. He addresses the reality that as people near the end of life, decisions about their living situation are primarily aimed at ensuring safety at the expense of retaining autonomy, especially when adult children are making the decisions. "We want autonomy for ourselves and safety for those we love," a friend tells the author. We mistakenly treat elders as children, Dr. Gawande says, when we deny them the right to make choices, even bad choices. People of any age want the right to lock their doors, set the temperature they want, dress how they like, eat what they want, admit visitors only when they're in the mood. Yet, nursing homes (and even assisted living communities) are geared toward making these decisions for people in order to keep them safe, gain government funds, and ensure a routine for the facility.

In addition, Dr. Gawande shows how end-of-life physical conditions are most often treated as medical crises needing to be "fixed," instead of managed for quality of life when treatment has become futile. Life is more than just a stretch of years; it must have meaning and purpose to be worth living, he says. This is a familiar concept (in fact, I read parts of this book in The New Yorker), but he builds a strong case for reform through case studies, stories from his own life, and examples of how individuals are either becoming victims of, or bucking, the system. He addresses assisted suicide only briefly, but he mentions it in relation to end-of-life care. "Assisted living is far harder than assisted death, but its possibilities are far greater as well," he writes.

The good news is that some people are doing what they can to improve the well-being of elders nearing the end of their lives. He demonstrates the beauty of hospice care in the home. He tells a great story of a doctor who convinced a nursing home to bring in two dogs, four cats and one hundred birds! It was a risky proposal, but the rewards were phenomenal. It made the place, and the people, come alive. I am aware, though, that these movements rely on individuals, and only if enough people have a vision for change will it come about. For that reason, I hope this book makes a big splash!

532 of 562 people found the following review helpful.
"The End Matters"
By Miss Barbara
I became a fan of Atul Gawande upon reading his first book in 2002: Complications: A Surgeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science. In reading many of his previous books I found he always asked questions: Why do we do things; for what purpose; is this working to achieve the best results for the patient in his physical and cultural circumstance? Gawande tackles the dilemmas of medical ethics by approaching them with sagacious common-sense. I think most of his books should be required reading in medical schools.

In this new book Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, Gawande looks at the problems of the aging population and inevitability of death. He points out that you don't have to spend much time with the elderly or those with terminal conditions to see how common it is for modern medicine to fail the people it is supposed to be helping. In speaking of elder care he sadly points out that "Our reluctance to honestly examine the experience of aging and dying has increased the harm and suffering we inflict on people and has denied them the basic comforts they need most". Many physicians are so hell bent on preserving life that they cause horrible and unnecessary suffering.

Gawande points out that sometimes in striving to give a patient health and survival their well-being is neglected. He describes well-being as the reason one wishes to be alive. He looks at the "Dying Role" as the end approaches describing it as the patient's ability to "share memories, pass on wisdom and keepsakes, settle relationships, establish legacies and make peace with their God. They want to end their stories on their own terms." He feels that if people are denied their role, out of obtuseness and neglect, it is cause for everlasting shame.

Gawande shares his deep seated feelings in this book by revealing personal vignettes of how friends and family coped with these powerful and challenging issues. He follows a hospice nurse on her rounds. He discloses how is mother-in-law Alice's life is changed by taking up residence in a senior facility as the only reasonable option. Senior facilities and nursing homes, even the best run, are often sterile institutions that can cause psychological anguish. He includes how he dealt with the final wishes of his father. It is a melancholy yet empowering picture of a man and physician honoring his father.

Atul Gawande provides the reader with an understanding that though end of life care is inevitable there are ways to humanize the process. The patients, their families, the medical professionals are coming to terms with how to better face the decision making processes that will be, in many cases, the last decision. The subject matter is complex and sensitive but the moral of the book is that "The End Matters".

255 of 280 people found the following review helpful.
Good story, wrong title.
By Steve Reynolds
The title : Being Mortal, and sub-title : Medicine and What Matters in the End set high expectations in the reader's mind. The question of our mortality goes to the very root of the mystery of life, and Medicine, with a capital M, is close to the ultimate secular moral authority for many people. To his credit, the author does not emphasize his medical credentials on the book's cover, but it is soon clear that this is a book written by a respected doctor, speaking as much on behalf of Medicine as to it, on a deep subject, suggesting further that he has some answers. I started to feel a little cheated by halfway through when it appeared that he in fact doesn't have all the answers; I felt a little foolish for having hoped he would; I suspected that the title was chosen to sell books, kind of like yet another miracle diet that isn't really.

The book breaks down into roughly two sections – Part A, a critique of the elder-care system in America that relies on nursing homes, and Part B, an examination of the question : 'when do heroic measures to save or prolong lives actually make things worse, and what should be done instead?'

Part A has personal relevance to many of us with parents in nursing homes. Not a day goes by but I consider whether something different could be done for my mother, knowing that I, holding power of attorney for her advance medical directives, have the legal power to change her circumstances. Dr. Gawande abhors the same things about nursing homes that the rest of us do, which he illustrates with examples until he says 'You'd think we would have burned the nursing homes to the ground.' (p. 79) The models he cites as alternatives all require at-home caregivers, saying 'Your chances of avoiding the nursing home are directly related to the number of children you have, and, … having at least one daughter seems to be crucial to the amount of help you will receive'. He cites his grandfather who lived in India to 110 years, holding title to the family lands until his death, while his uncles in India lived out their lives to old age themselves, tending to his needs, and waiting for their inheritance. His successful examples of alternatives include the 'assisted living' arrangements that are very expensive and inadequate for people who lack the ability for self-care; group living arrangements under the supervision of a dedicated individual, and bringing plants and animals into nursing homes. That was the end of Part A and the beginning of my realization that there are still no magic answers.

Part B relates the experience of several patients of Dr. Gawande's with terminal illnesses. The question of 'when to let go' is the focus. The answer is never clear, even with a mentally competent patient, and Dr. Gawande's examples don't lead to a recipe that will serve for all circumstances. He does clearly state that people's priorities change as they perceive their time is limited, not a great breakthrough considering the old addage 'you don't miss your water until your well runs dry.' He advocates the importance of knowing in advance what measures and risks patients wish to take to prolong their lives – again, not news with the prevalence of Advance Medical Directives – and he advocates that Medicine work harder to implement those wishes in spirit as well as procedure. But he assumes that substantive conversations occur while drafting the answers to the questions posed by the Directive. In my experience, the questions are posed and answered in a vacuum, like a lawyer's office, or an admitting workstation, that avoids the reality of the answers, as if they pertain to someone else. My mother doesn't yet believe she will never leave the nursing home, and she doesn't seem to think her time is limited, and the breach between her willingness to understand those two facts and my ability to negotiate that terrain is vast. The development of a healthy mindset around the fact of our mortality that leads to the closing stages of a good ending must come from within, and a dysfuntional life will most likely lead to a dysfunctional end.

Like Lake Woebegone, where all the women are strong and the men good looking, all the patients in Dr. Gawande's examples come from essentially functional families. There is someone home to send the patient back to, or, someone nearby willing to work hard to provide care for the patient. The people in nursing homes don't have that, mostly. It is not just a question of whether a potential caregiver is too selfish to be bothered with becoming a caregiver, but also a question of the life-long autonomy that the patient claimed for themselves, needing no one, themselves caring for no one, who find out in the end they are dependent on others. Perhaps they have alienated all their potential caregivers. Perhaps they are more comfortable with a professional 'friend' than a family member, and show more respect for someone who is helpful because that's their job, than someone who has always been around like a son or a daughter. There is no miracle diet. You want to lose weight : stop eating so much. You want Grandma out of the nursing home, prepare to change your life for an indeterminate length of time. Maybe you will reach enlightenment. Maybe there is true happiness in giving up oneself for the good of another. Maybe Grandma will wreck your peaceful home.

Dr. Gawande writes well, his patient examples are interesting, he shows personal growth and a deepening understanding that appear to be sincere and believable. Just by relating his experiences, he could be helping change the mindset of medical practitioners to pay more attention to their patient's wants. A more apt title, I think, would have been Being Human with the sub-title How a Doctor Learned to Listen to Patients. He is as much a subject of the book as its topic, and his growth and experiences could stand on their own without suggesting that he has solved the problems of mortality and eldercare.

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Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

The first edition of Crucial Conversations exploded onto the scene and revolutionized the way millions of people communicate when stakes are high. This new edition gives you the tools to:

  • Prepare for high-stakes situations
  • Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue
  • Make it safe to talk about almost anything
  • Be persuasive, not abrasive

  • Sales Rank: #2681 in eBooks
  • Published on: 2011-09-16
  • Released on: 2011-09-16
  • Format: Kindle eBook

About the Author
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler are cofounders of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and organizational performance. Together they have developed award-winning training products based on more than thirty years of ongoing research and have helped more than 300 of the Fortune 500 realize significant results by driving behavior change.
www.vitalsmarts.com

McGraw-Hill authors represent the leading experts in their fields and are dedicated to improving the lives, careers, and interests of readers worldwide

Most helpful customer reviews

634 of 669 people found the following review helpful.
These techniques really work!
By A Customer
I bought this book after undergoing a first, miserable mediation session with my soon-to-be-exhusband. The stakes are high--it's our property settlement, and my husband had been cashing out the savings and spending them, while leaving me to take care of the 2 mortgages and other obligations. It was easy, but not very productive, to point out where I felt he was wrong.
I started reading Crucial Conversations and using the tools as well as I could, while watching our mediator model them. I stopped participating in the accuse/counter-accuse game, and focused on bringing information to the table, while I used the crucial conversation tools to keep our discussions productive.
The book starts out with a self-assessment to determine your own communications strengths and weaknesses.
My biggest faux-pas with my husband was to cause Respect violations. The CC tools gave me a usable set of actions to take to set things back on track:
* Apologize (I'm sorry if that sounded disrespectful.)
* Contrast (I don't want to make you out to be the bad guy, I'm just concerned that I won't have any funds left to cover the emergencies.)
* CRIB
- Commit to seek mutual purpose (I'll stay in this process as long as it takes for us to reach agreement.)
- Recognize the purpose behind his strategy (It's understandable that you're unhappy with our situation and that you're trying to do something to feel better.)
- Invent a mutual purpose (I want us both to be happy and secure after the divorce.)
- Brainstorm new strategies (Maybe we can just focus on the numbers for now, and put off worrying about how we're going to divide things until later.
Using these tools has kept the dialogue moving forward, and we're very close to agreement, after just two more sessions.
The Crucial Conversations tools won't change another person who's determined to be unreasonable into a perfectly cooperative person, but they will give you a sane way to stay in dialogue and still hold the other person accountable for his or her own irrational attitudes and behavior.
I think this book is a must-have for anyone who has had a hard time dealing with conflict. I'll be reaching for it again, I know.

227 of 249 people found the following review helpful.
For when things get crucial
By Liam Brown
We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is crucial. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation." As opposed to a casual discussion, crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. Whether you are approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own policies, critiquing a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, keeping the conversation productive can be very difficult.

The main technique the authors teach is the talent of dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who use this technique are able to find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open and make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions.

In this, the 2nd edition, the book ads access to new material including a video vault that illustrates each of the authors' techniques being acted out, new case studies, and new tools to help you maneuver effectively through crucial conversations. This wise and witty guide gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve positive outcomes. You'll learn how to:

* Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
* Make it safe to talk about almost anything
* Be persuasive, not abrasive
* Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
* Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want

All in all a great book for developing advanced people skills. Another must read in this genre is Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

213 of 236 people found the following review helpful.
Insightful, practical, engaging--an exceptional book!
By A Customer
When I obtained a copy of Crucial Conversations, I had very high expectations of this book having read the authors' outstanding earlier work, The Balancing Act. I must say I wasn't disappointed; in fact, I was delighted! Crucial Conversations is an extremely insightful and very practical book. Indeed, it is a very rare combination to find a book that contains profound ideas as well as provides actionable tools and Crucial Conversations delivers both.
The book addresses a topic that is largely misunderstood and vastly underestimated: high stakes dialogue. The authors define crucial conversations as those where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong, or in other words, much of both our professional and personal lives. We're all involved in crucial conversations at home and at work but most of us are not very aware of the interpersonal dynamics at play and/or we're unskilled in how to respond differently. The book helps the reader first understand the principles involved in "crucial conversations" but then also helps the reader develop real skills and abilities to choose or change their communication patterns. The end result is remarkable. The book's impact is a much bigger idea than simple communication--it's all about effective human interaction and getting results with and through people.
The book is highly readable, extremely engaging and actually quite fun. It is filled with illustrations and stories from all walks of life: business examples, personal examples and family examples. The fact that the principles and skills the authors teach can be applied in all dimensions of life--work, home, personal--is very appealing to me and made the book extremely helpful on many fronts.
I benefitted most from this book from a business standpoint and have found that applying these skills has made a real difference at work. I'm more courageous and more considerate at the same time. I understand people better but I especially understand myself better. I'm far more conscious and aware of my dialogue with others and I've greatly improved my skills and abilities to lead effectively. The bottom line is, I'm helping my company get better results and I'm far more effective personally. If more people in business were to apply these principles and skills in the frequent crucial conversations they have at work, they would make better decisions, achieve better results and do it all in a way that would build the trust and strengthen relationships. I couldn't give a book higher marks. Outstanding!

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Basic Statistics for the Health Sciences with PowerWeb Bind-in Card (Kuzma, Basic Statistics for the Health Sciences), by Jan W. Kuzma, St

This pioneering introductory statistics text was the first written specifically to make statistics accessible for health science students. Assuming no prerequisites other than high school algebra, the authors provide numerous examples from health settings, a wealth of helpful learning aids, as well as hundreds of exercises that help students succeed in the course.

  • Sales Rank: #522512 in Books
  • Published on: 2004-10-25
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.20" h x .82" w x 7.60" l,
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 384 pages

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